This F-Bomb is the story behind my Facebook status the other day.
Some of you may be my friend on FB and saw this:
Word to the wise: Never, ever, ever, everever, NEVER ever, EVAH correct children that aren't your own in public. Especially if their momma is standing RIGHT.THERE.
Some people may have mistook this to mean that I accidentally yelled at a kid in front of his mom and got beat down. Rest assured, I have yelled at little brats in the store before, ones that are really doing something stupid and obviously need some sort of reprimand.
But this was actually somebody yelling at my
little brats kids who are perfect angels and never do anything wrong. <--- total lie.
However, this time, my kids weren't doing anything wrong, it was just a
lame bitchy very astute and helpful worker who mistook what they were doing and stuck her fat nose in our business decided to correct them.
Here's how it went down:
we're (and by we're i mean me and my 2 boys) in a fabric store.
a fabric store where i always see mennonite mommies. they each have about eleventy million children.
and, just because they are wearing handmade smocks and look all adorable and such, does not mean that they behave all the time.
because they are children, people. children tend to be naughty at times.
why do i tell you this?
to explain that we are in a fabric store where they see tons of kids. tons and tons. i know this because i
weighed the amount of kids in there once and it was tons and tons. 'kay?
my boys and i are in the very back of the fabric section. we are surrounded by bolts and bolts of fabric and nothing else.
the kids are bored.
because they are children and their mommy has drug them into the fabric store. duh.
so they do what normal kids do to entertain themselves.
they begin to "race" each other down the aisle.
and by race, this is what i mean...
"get ready, get set....GO."
and they commence mock slow motion running.
they are literally moving slower than if they are walking.
at this point i'm happily (and by happily i mean i'm going crazy because there are too many choices for my indecisive brain) looking at fabric.
i'm letting the kids pretend to race.
this is what i hear:
"boys. boys!!! no. running. in. the. store!!"
uh. what the what? did someone just yell at my kids?
they were at the end of the aisle getting ready to "race" back.
and someone, someone who i shall call mandy, because that was her name, yelled at my kids.
i do what any
and at the point i round the corner, she disappears into the employee only area.
she's running scared now. she knows she messed up.
so i gather up my fabric and my kids and head to the cutting area to have it cut.
by the time i get there there are a few ladies in front of me, waiting for their fabric to be cut also.
there are 2 employees and one of them looks up at me and says:
"ma'am. ma'am!!! someone will be right with you."
i recognize that squeally voice.
you're probably expecting that i said something here.
you would be wrong.
i'm a wuss.
i said nothing. nada, zilch, zero.
i just wanted to get my fabric cut and leave.
but i did notice that she had 5 pairs of golden scissors on her name tag, which i assume means that she is very good at
i don't know. i should probably be jealous and aspire to be her.
but i don't.
when i got home i told my husband that the kids got yelled at by a fabric lady.
but, i explained, it wasn't her fault she was so
i know you wanna know.
it was because she just heard her insurance denied her elective surgery.
the one to have her ginormous set of brass balls removed!
i showed her!
i showed her!
and by her i mean you all, because i didn't have the balls to confront her myself.
i understand she maybe mistook the situation and just assumed they were gonna run.
i also get that she might be tired of kids running around the store.
i get it.
i don't get her yelling at my kids who were actually being very good right then.
now. because i love my kids who are never, ever, ever brats....sarcasm...i want to try to win this wii game for them. and i'm letting you in on the secret so maybe you can win it instead! which would make me sads, but i love you, so i'll make the sacrifice. see? i loves you. go visit heather to try and win!
link your fbombs up below and have fun!
also. did you guys notice that i used no capitalization in part of this post, but not all? yeah, me too. weird.