It was a day that I had been putting off for a week because I was dreading the call.
See, I recently had to change specialty prescription mail order pharmacies. Ugh. Got that?
Yeah.
Me either.
It's a pita. Major. If you don't know what "pita" is, just ask. Then I'll know you're a pita too. Ha!
So I started out at about 3:45 with this
It's all automated. Eventually I got to the point where I started pounding all the numbers and the 0 key hoping to get to a person.
I wonder if they record your conversation with the computer? That would be hilarious. They'd hear things like:
"No. You asshat."
"Not gonna do a survey because you suck."
"I'm gonna shove this phone up your ass if you...oh. Ahem. Hi there; finally a real human!"
Anyway. This humanoid tells me I have the wrong company.
Transferring.....
Following conversation:
Me: "Can you help me with my prescription? Details, blah blah blah..."
Them: "You have the wrong company."
Transferring.....
Me: "Can you help me with my prescription? Details, blah blah blah, gonna shoot myself in the face, someone stab me in the ear please..."
Them: "Yes, ma'am, your prescription was transferred to our company on December 28th."
Me: "Oh. Okay. Can you tell me what
Because, yeah, at that point, I had talked to 4 different people, 2 different animated voices and I still didn't know the company name.
The real donkey stink of the whole thing was that I was only doing what my own insurance company had told me to do. And they were the ones handling it like a drunk monkey screwing a football. Nice visual, eh?
All four "companies" I talked to on the phone were part of my insurance company. So the same damn place, just split into 4 different parts. Out of who knows how many total.
Why didn't they know at the first place I called what I was asking? Perfect example of the right hand not knowing what the left hand was doing. Oh! I bet I know what the left hand was doing...
Wonder if they can guess what both of my hands are doing right now? That's right. Double barrels for ya, ICFH. (insurance co from hell.)
Look at the birdie!
When I finally hung up? It was 5. Ridic.
(if you don't get that? i'm flipping em off.)
46 comments:
So shitty being on an automated phone call...i always get distracted way easy then I have to listen to the same recording 4 times because I got sidetracked in the middle somewhere and I don't know what f-in # to push. Ugggghhhhh!!! Hope it's all worked out now. Oh and... What is pita???
I just can't get passed the drunk monkey screwing a football!
I'm with SDB sandwiches.. you can make a real pita [I know what it is] funny.
Reminds me of my job sometimes.. think I have a post for my next Justifiable Homicide Tuesday.
Come visit.. you have a shout out.. thanks for the idea.
I hate calling somewhere and its all automated. I ended up yelling No you stupid effing computer I want to talk to a stupid effing human.
Being on the phone with asshats pisses me off especially if they are obviously somewhere across seas and tell me their name is Bob or Tony or something.
Aggghhhhh!
crap. i might be a pita.
i have know idea what a pita is.
so that makes me one?
i knew this day would be rough.
i am so glad i haven't has problems with my meds or getting them.
i am sooooo sorry that you are having problems. SO ridiculous, seriously...what a waste of time sitting on the phone with asshats.
LOL I hate automated dealings. And why can't they understand some of my southern words & accent??
WTH is a pita? I'm dumbfounded. I know, you're surprised. Me too. This NEVER happens.
Sometimes, when I'm really frustrated, I tell the asshat's to hang on a sec and then I proceed to bang the phone on the counter for about 90 seconds. I always feel better after that.
Note to self: Start using "asshat" more often.
Note to self 2: Never deal with prescription order companies.
OMG - that totally and completely SUCKS ASS. I've been there and I hate hate hate having to make those calls. ESPECIALLY when there's not a human to talk to on the other end.
I'm glad, at least, that you're on the other side of it. Geeeez.
OH! That totally sucks!!! I'm sorry hon!! All that wasted time and it was done already! ARG!!!
omg - i would totally be flipping them off too! so you were on the phone with them for OVER an hour!! UGH!!! That's insane!!! You have WAY more patience than me!!
I hate being trapped on the phone carousel of frustration and agony!!! I want to throw the phone at someone eventually.
At least it's over now... until next time... muhahahaha
I hate automated phone calls...Drives me crazy...
I know what a pita is, but I want to say I don't just to see what your reply would be. ;P
I really am sorry. The worst is when those automated voices have foriegn accents you can't understand. Seriously? It's bad enough that once I do get a human, it's Ahmed from Bangladesh, but we couldnt pay an american to even do the automated menu?
Wow. That sounded racist. I totally don't mean it that way.
ugh
Wow! I would be ticked!!
I hate getting the runaround...
I'm guessing the pita I like isn't the pita you're referring to?
Over an hour!! That is insane! I hate those automated machines, they never understand me for some reason.
A friend recommended your blog to me so I am checking it out, and am highly amused. I love your visual of the monkey and the football, and will likely use it often in my real life from now on. Thank you loads for that one! haha.
I have to make one of those pita calls tomorrow if I dont have a check in the mail. I have a feeling its going to be fun since this will be my second call and they didnt know wtf was up the first time I called
Phone calls like that make me all stabby and wanting to smack someone.
Insurance companies are evil!!
Oh, that is so frustrating!
That's terrible! I hate automated phone services. I always miss half of the message and have to go back through a couple of times.
i always cuss out the automated things. shoot me in the head la la la la.
I'm not going to ask, but you know I want to know.
Calling insurance companies are my favorite! I wait as long as I can, jut to prolong the joy!
Er...somethin'.
That's so unacceptable!! I'm sorry, friend. :(
so... wait a second... did you get the problem taken care of or not?
4 people... same company?! ugh. Tough day.
:)
So freaking annoying!!! I love those websites that tell you what buttons to press to get a human...love them!
I agree...if you can't figure out pita, then I will classify you as such!
I hate calling companies. The new automated for our convience systems all blow monster goats. I like to sing along to the hold music and occasionally the people that answer when I'm not quite done with my lyrics.
UGH there are few things in the world that I hate more than having to deal with automated answering when I call places. I always end up screaming/cursing into the phone.
I do wonder if they record it? I hope they do.
A drunk monkey screwing a football. I'll carry that one with me all.day.long. Brilliant :) And I AM sorry that was such a PITA. It really should not be that hard. I always wonder what stupid people do . . .
This Pain In The Ass says insurance companies are the devil!
BHAHAHAHAHAHA! Drunken Monkey screwing a football! OMG! You are hilarious. I can't even imagine hanging in there for so long. I would given up and thrown the phone across the room! You earned your brownie points for sure!!
I loathe the phone. This is one of the reasons! UGH!
You are awesome. How could this be my first time here?
They are asshats. Perfect word.
Oh I hate the automated phone calls.
You should have suggested to them that they consolidate all their different departments a little and save some money...then they can drop the rates! :)
PITA :) Know it, love it! lol!
So sorry about your horrible phone experience :( I have totally done the 'beating on zero until a live voice answers the damn phone' - totally sucks & makes you want to kill someone. But - blog fodder, no?
A drunk monkey screwing a football? Nice.
Know what else sucks? Voice activated automated phone convos when your kids keep yelling in the background. Such fun.
You should've made your husband deal with that mess. That's what happens around these parts.
ughhh i HATE automated phone services...effing hate them!! you're a better woman than i am mims...way better!
I hate the automated systems with a passion. I really hope they are recording me. I always say crazy, funny things.
My old boss would get so mad. He'd yell into the phone. "I WANT A DAMN OPERATOR!" "JUST GIVE ME A PERSON!" "I'M NOT PUNCHING ANY BUTTONS UNTIL YOU GIVE ME A DAMN PERSON!" He wasn't as mad as it sounds, but it was hilarious.
I think I had an entire conversation with a real person and I thought it was a machine. So I was answering all monosyllabic. I wonder if *they* thought *they* were talking to a machine... Try that next time! If they give you an answer you don't like, you say, "I'm sorry. That response is not valid. Please try again."
Ugh! I'm glad you got it worked out, but it just shouldn't be that hard...That's what she said!!!
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