The Truth About My Lies: Pee or Boogers?

Do you all remember this post from last Friday? I had to write a list of 5 things; 4 being lies and 1 being the truth.

Here's the recap with my thoughts on each one.

I was in the Prism program at school. It was the olden days' version of talented and gifted.
So many of you fabulous people thought this might be it. I guess y'all think I'm purty smartz. You give me too much credit. Problem is: I took the "smart people" test at school but didn't pass. Yep. I guess I was actually too smart and would have made the other smarties feel stupid. Go figure! Sarcasm, people. Actually, telling the whole story like this sorta makes it sound really pathetic and sad.

I tell everyone that I hate cats but secretly I love them.
Um. No. I tell everyone that I hate cats because, well, I do hate them. I might be the only one in the world who speeds up when I see one in the road. Except for JA. Fist bump, JA! One of these days I'll tell you why I hate cats. You'll totally get it, then.

I once hid in the bathroom at the mall for over an hour so that I wouldn't have to talk to an ex friend.
I don't remember doing this. So I'm going to say that I never have. That being said, it totally sounds like something I might do. Crap. I might do this to avoid a current friend. Bad hair days, ya know.

I once sucked pee out of a rug, thinking it was pop.
**hangs head in shame** You'll get the whole story below. Don't you judge me! Yet.

I ate a booger on a dare.
No. Freaking. Way.

Okay, so yeah, I may have sucked some piddle out of a rug once.

And, no, it wasn't some drunken frat party or something.

No, folks, I was completely sober. I mean, I don't know many 2 3 okay fine 4 (!!) year olds that get wasted, but whatever.

Here's the story: It's all my little brother's fault. <--- isn't it always?

See, he was like 2? Way beyond the age of knowing that he shouldn't piss on the carpet, but again, whatever. He also sucked his thumb. Now you see what kind of fiend we're dealing with here, alright?!

Alls I really remember is that I walked into his room and saw a wet spot on the floor. In my small child brain I immediately thought: "Aha! He's been drinking pop! He spilled! He's such a spiller!"

So I said, "Mom, why did you give him pop?!" <--- srsly. he was a pop addict at 2. no joke. always trying to take a swig of the rc cola in a glass bottle. 'member those? if you don't, you're too young, go away.

Mom was like, "No, I didn't."

I kept bugging her asking her what it was and she wouldn't tell me. I had no other choice but to get down on all fours and stick my face into the wet spot and proceed to try and hoover up the liquid. Stubborn, much?

See? Mom's fault. Cuz she should have told me it was piss. Brother's fault because he should never have pissed on the floor.

NOT. MY. FAULT. <--- that's my story and i'm stickin' to it. Again: Don't you judge me!!

Still friends? Yeah? I said, "Are we still friends?!"

YES?! Okay, fine.

Never speak of this again! <--- my family's motto.

Now to get the visual of this sad situation out of your heads, I leave you with this educational photo of how pop used to be served. For the younguns, ya know.

credit

Are we good?

**ps: this is my memory's version of the story. i'm sure my mom will say she did tell me it was pee and i didn't believe her. that may or may not be true. i don't know.**