I'd Be Jealous if I Wasn't There

I know you all have been on pins and needles to hear about my GNO with Xazmin!  We've been waiting to get to see eachother forevah! We've known each other, through blogging, for 2 years now and it was absolutely fabulous to get to see her in real life!

Let me tell you something funny that happened right in the beginning. I had to meet her at the Hilton and when I got there I took the elevator up to the lobby. The doors opened and I walked into a throng of people; all there for the same conference she was attending.

I stood there for about 3 minutes before I realized that she was standing about 10 feet away talking to a couple of gentlemen.

At first, I wasn't totally positive it was her. It looked like her, from the head up. After all, I have never seen her whole body, right? It sounded like her, but maybe a little different. What sealed the deal was when I noticed the green hair flair.

I stood there in her line of vision forever just waiting to see if she noticed me. I could have swore she saw me at least twice before she realized it was me. I was about to bust out laughing!

Finally, finally she saw me and it dawned on her who I was. I don't care how much you read someones blog, or how often they post pictures of their mugs (which neither of us do very often) you still will be a little hesitant to run and attack a blog friend, just in case it's a doppelganger.

I'm going to list some things that may or may not have happened, in my quest to condense, and you tell me which thing or if any are lies.

When we got up to Xazmin's hotel room, I took off my shoes and started trying hers on. 


I said her boots were "hooker boots."


I told her roomie and roomie's family that we were going to drive around looking for Voodoo Donuts by keeping our windows down. So we could smell the hippies. (cuz portland is filled with hippies, y'all.)


It took us at least an hour to travel .8 miles to the donut shop.


On the way I happened to call a woman who was standing in the road like a tool a "douchecanoe." A word I read on a funny lady's blog and have never said out loud. Until I was trying to watch my mouth.


We drove in the bus lane.


Got honked at by a bus.

Xazmin got up close and personal with an old dirty bastard.


Almost ran over a couple different people.

Stood outside in the hail storm for 30 minutes to get inside Voodoo Donuts.


Voodoo Donuts has a donut called "cock and balls."

There is an Applebee's on every corner, until you are looking for one.


We ate dessert before dinner.

Xazmin is afraid of the forest. Because it hides serial killers.

We were convinced everyone we saw was the Green River Killer.

We drove around the bad parts of town looking for hookers, trannies and drug dealers.

We bottomed out on an unexpected curb thingy and had to see if oil was leakin'.

Got lost 487 times. In the same city block.

Went through our purses and compared everything with each other.

Each gifted each other with hand made cards.

One of us may have said, "What the heck is a "p hole?"

Someone may have muttered, "Too much tree hugger-y crap!"

We played the "would we make out with that dude" game. (ok, and maybe the "gay or not gay" game too.)

We told a guy from Texas he was going to get herpes from Voodoo Donuts.

It might have taken a 72 point turn to get out of the parking garage.

We hung out and laughed for 9 hours straight.

I got home after 3 in the morning.

Woke up to a flat tire.


Here are some pictures from our adventure.

truly a creepy bakery. looks more like a piercing parlor.

yet their donuts come in a pink box!

old dirty bastard (mmm...you look good, mr. odb.)

hotel art we were checking out and discussing with the concierge at about 2 in the a.m.

for you, viv. he knows all about your pirated pears. and he agrees with us: pirate police are dumb.

we definitely did our part to:

notice the freaking monsoon.

The best picture ever:

about ten minutes after we met. we were crammed into an elevator. i went to get my camera for this

photo op and a stranger accused me of groping her. it was awesome. and hilarious.

I'm looking at that picture and my smile is totally weird there. Huh.

Xazmin is absolutely as awesome as her blog! Well, more awesome. But she's the same person you read. She's hilarious and smart and I love her.  

I felt we shared a kindred spirit when I first stumbled onto her blog.

I'm sad that we only had the little bit of time that we did, because we live sorta far away from each other and we won't be able to visit much. And I already miss her! (actually, x, don't you think it might be good we don't live too close? our kids would never get fed and we wouldn't have any voices from talking so much...on the other hand, we'd have awesome abs from laughing so hard.)

I've long held the belief that blog friends are every bit as much of a real friend as one you see every day. And I was right. It was like we picked up where we left off online and had a blast.

Xazmin was one of the very first blog friends I made. The very first one I met. And I believe we will be friends even if our blogs blew up and we never did any blogging again.

I'm so glad we got to meet, Xazmin! It truly was a blessing, as are you, my friend.

Go visit to see her version of what happened! I'm feeling like it will be close to the same, only she will call me a douchecanoe. Maybe?

So...you read the list of what we may or may not have done...whaddya think? What's a lie?


ps: it was a trick question. it's all true.

pps: see you all next week!