I confess...I was reminded yesterday while using some really strong craft glue and thus getting it all over my fingers and having to pick it off, that when I was a kid I used to smear Elmer's all over my hands, let it dry, and then see how big of a piece I could pull off without breaking it.
I confess...I checked my junk drawer to see how much Elmer's I had. You know. Just in case I wanted to do that again.
I confess...while I still had chunks of craft glue on my fingers and was happily picking at it, I came up with a plan. I looked at my husband and proclaimed, "Look! It's a booger!" while brandishing a blob of glue on my index finger. Know what I did next? I bet you can figure it out if you think about it. I ate it.
I confess...it was only craft glue and I didn't really eat it. I spit it out when he wasn't looking. I also told him it was glue. I don't know if he bought it though.
I confess...I was talking to the lovely Xazmin Wednesday and had a dire potty situation arise. I needed to pee. I went to the bathroom and put the phone on mute. By the way, am I the only one who never quite trusts mute?
I confess...when I was trying to hit the mute button, I accidentally ended the call.
I confess...I went to my call log and redialed the last number I'd called.
Following is a dramatization of the call:
**phone ringing**
Woman: Hello?
Me: Whoops.
Woman: Huh?
Me: Whoops, I meant to press mute not hang up on you.
Woman: Okay? Who is this?
**you'd think at this point i would catch on that i'm not talking to who i think i am.**
Me: MiMi! (insert real name which i wish wasn't quite so different in these situations. can't just blame on some other woman with the same name.)
Woman: Who?
Me: **in my head** Crap.
CLICK.
I confess...at that time I realized Xazmin called me. I redialed someone who I don't even know who it was in the first place. It wasn't someone in my contacts.
I confess...I'm relieved I didn't greet the "Hello" on the other end with, "Whoops, I was peeing and I tried to mute the phone so you wouldn't hear it and accidentally hung up!!" That could have been embarrassing.
So...do you think the mute button really works?
40 comments:
oh man the Elmer's Glue thing, totally did that!
and no.
i never trust mute.
ever.
oh...and thank you for linking up. you are a fabulous friend and i love you very much.
oh and i would have gagged a little or puked over the "booger" thing.
I think the glue thing is a right of passage for kids!
I also may or may not have showed my kids how to do. We may or may not have used a whole bottle of glue doing this...
I did the mute thing once while on the phone with a lady from our bank. we were trying to get all the paper work for a loan together and it was taking forever! I had to go. I thought I hit mute and then she said "did you just pee and flush?" I started laughing and apologized. She and I are still friends thanks to that!
Do you mean my phone can pick up the faint sound of pee? I'm in trouble. Who knew? I also didn't know there was a mute button. I'm going to look right now.
Ha! I used to do that thin with glue. That was so... satisfying. LOL. Happy Friday!
Oh my goodness - you never cease to make me LOL!
~Becca
I have fond memories of Rubber Cement. I'm weird but I like the smell and remember making rubber balls out of the stuff. It has better booger looking potential.
As for mute, I can never get it to work right, so, no, I don't trust it.
Screw the glue I want to know what your real name is????
I'll bet it isn't as bad as mine ;o}
I used to do that with the Elmer's glue too.
Putting the glue in your mouth...too funny!
Oh the memories with the glue! Too funny :)
I don't use mute but my kids do...I believe it works! HA!
I totally use the mute button when necessary.
Hope you have a fabulous weekend!
Oh, the mute button when you pee! I never thought about that!
I wonder if the elmer's glue worked on the hands like a mask would work on a face. Would it clean out your finger creases?
Before you said you ate it, I thought you were going to say you flicked it at your husband!
And for mute? I have no idea about that... BUT... once I was on a conference call. Three way. My lawyer friend on one end... my enemy on the other and me. My enemy friend was a group of about 3 or 4 people together... her and her bosses and her lawyers, whatever. Anyway, after the call was done, I hung up.
Enemy thought we all hung up. My lawyer friend did not. She hadn't hung up yet when she heard more talking, so she listened in.
Overheard them fire my department manager at work. Patting the HR man who did it on the back after the fact. All the while, they thought the speaker phone was off. It was not. Thus, I learned I got my department manager fired that day. Oops.
Oh that is classic. I totally did the elmer's glue thing as well. Memories. We would try and fool the teacher that we had leprosy. Couldn't figure out why it never worked.
My brother calls me and says "guess what I am doing? Taking a dump." He thinks it is hilarious. I think it would be even more awesome if he got the wrong number like you did. My sister calls and says "I am in the tub. Nothing quite like knowing the person you are talking to is naked, is there?" Yeah, I come from a strange family.
You are so funny!! So who was that person that you dialed if she was in your call log? That story is AWESOME!
You know what my students used to do? They had these pencil boxes that had plastic lids that had cute designs on them. They would put glue all over the top, let it dry overnight and then peel it off and use it to draw and write on. It was the craziest thing ever. I think you would understand this better if it wasn't taking me 10 minutes to type this since I have a monkey climbing on me OR maybe if I had a picture of said piece of glue.
Ok..this is getting complicated. I'm just a simple girl. So...I'm going now. To the bathroom to pee but not on mute. But I totally trust mute. For real. I do.
Hahahaha! I never trust the Mute button either!
I don't even know how to use my mute button...
I would have flicked the glue booger at your hubs... And yes, I totally peel glue off my fingers. Still.
Hahaha! Not sure I've ever tried using the mute button.
snigger....awesome.
Screw the mute button. I just pee anyways. ;)
LOl you are so funny. I too don't trust mute.
I have also gotten hot glue in my hair in more then one occasion. It does not wash out as easy as Elmers.
Have a great weekend funny lady.
When you get a chance can you email me your blog button code I want to add it to my friends blog button page and it won't let me copy html.
No rush.
Dang! I HOPE it does! I've been in conference calls and had to do this... Even with the mute on, you try and pee quietly don't you?
Lol! Oh that would have been so so funny if you had said you were peeing. Oh man. And hmm now I am really suspicious of the mute button. I just go if I am on the phone- I just don't flush until I am off of the phone :)
I confess I liked to peel glue off my hands too.... the best part of a manicure is the wax they dip your hands in.
I don't trust mute! hahaha. And I totally did the Emler's thing too. I would have eaten the craft glue, but in front of the teen. I love shocking her. hahaha.
I mute people and pee all the time. and I never trust it either!!
oh my gosh, you are 10!
We are going to get along very well.
Oh yes, me too on the Elmer's glue thing. Used to coat my palm and try to peel it in one piece.
Um, yeah, that phone call thing sounds like something I would do. Except that I WOULD have just started talking about how I muted the phone cuz I was peeing.
Hypothetically. Because I've never REALLY done that...
BWAHAHA! I'm glad you shared our story. Also - you don't have to push mute for me. I pee too, and I don't think you can really hear it on the phone. I hope.
Love the glue story. That's awesome that you ate your fake booger for your husband. Nice to see the romance still alive after all these years.
I miss Friday confessional...I must play this week.
You like to peel your skin when you get a sunburn, too, don't you? :o)
Oh my goodness...that is a great story about the bathroom incident. ;o) Hopefully the lady you called also doesn't have your number in her phone and she won't figure out it was you. :o)
Hi, the give away looks great but we need an end date will you put one in, I don't care when you have it end, I run mine for 10 days and end mine on Wednesdays at noon just so I can remember, but what ever works for you. Thanks again. I will help link it up to places this week.
LMFAO!!! Love this!
I pee while on the phone all the time.
And I never mute it.
Mostly because I don't know how, but also I have it in my head that they can't hear it.
Which is not exactly true, because my mom will often say, "Are you in the bathroom?"
Then I feel like a little kid who got caught and all I can do is lie and say, "No....?"
Ha!!! I've definitely done the mute pee pee thing!!!
And I also did the glue thing on the hand. That was awesome!
The phone situation is so something that would happen to me.
What is going on with Google+ deleting all your photos? I am on Google+, but I haven't gone in forever and I don't know what's going on.
Uggghhh I hate the calling someone you think is someone else thing. Done it WAY too many times.
dude i had to scroll down for 3 straight minutes to get to the post a freakin comment link. you are loved. the hot mess that you are.
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