I get a lot of "I hate you!" from one of my boys these days.
I remember telling my mom this too. I also remember that I didn't mean it. Of course at the time I was pretty ticked, but I'm positive I didn't mean it.
It doesn't make it hurt any less.
They say "actions speak louder than words" and I sincerely hope that is true.
After about the third "I hate you!" the other day I sarcastically stated, "Well I hate you too."
Cringing. Sick to my stomach. I can't believe I said that. I never say that. Ever. I don't even want to share this because I'm so ashamed.
I'm not sure he heard me...in fact I think he probably didn't because he was throwing his own fit in a different room. Still...guilt.
It was thoughtless. Not careless. Thoughtless because I didn't think at all, it just popped out. Not careless because I care deeply about what he said and what I said.
These are the things I hope they remember:
Back rubs.
Soothing words.
Tears of joy for their triumphs.
Fierce pride.
Protection.
Saving the last 2 cookies for them. So they never have to find an empty carton.
Presence.
Laughter.
A lot of "No" but when it's important a "Yes."
Moving heaven and earth to make it right for them.
Help with homework.
Countless hugs.
Always being there for their school awards with camera ready.
Prayer.
Heartfelt care with problems that seem insurmountable to them.
Love.
These are the things I hope they remember.
Because to them I'm a naggy mom.
To me? They are the world.
I remember telling my mom this too. I also remember that I didn't mean it. Of course at the time I was pretty ticked, but I'm positive I didn't mean it.
It doesn't make it hurt any less.
They say "actions speak louder than words" and I sincerely hope that is true.
After about the third "I hate you!" the other day I sarcastically stated, "Well I hate you too."
Cringing. Sick to my stomach. I can't believe I said that. I never say that. Ever. I don't even want to share this because I'm so ashamed.
I'm not sure he heard me...in fact I think he probably didn't because he was throwing his own fit in a different room. Still...guilt.
It was thoughtless. Not careless. Thoughtless because I didn't think at all, it just popped out. Not careless because I care deeply about what he said and what I said.
These are the things I hope they remember:
Back rubs.
Soothing words.
Tears of joy for their triumphs.
Fierce pride.
Protection.
Saving the last 2 cookies for them. So they never have to find an empty carton.
Presence.
Laughter.
A lot of "No" but when it's important a "Yes."
Moving heaven and earth to make it right for them.
Help with homework.
Countless hugs.
Always being there for their school awards with camera ready.
Prayer.
Heartfelt care with problems that seem insurmountable to them.
Love.
These are the things I hope they remember.
Because to them I'm a naggy mom.
To me? They are the world.
happy 2 year anniversary, PYHO.
17 comments:
Oh, how I relate to this. SO much.
Um, thanks for making me bawl.
The will remember those things - I promise!
You are an amazing mama, and they are so lucky to have you...and that is what they will tell their children when they are grown - how they were so blessed to have you for a mom!
Totally relate to this today.
I told the kids to shut up yesterday and I hate that phrase. HATE IT.
I feel terrible about it....
It's so hard to be a mom. NONE of us are perfect.
I So needed to hear this today! My 17 year old recently moved out - and I "feel" like that is what he is screaming at me "i hate you i hate you i hate you!" UGH!! He's still my baby, no matter how old! I just wish HE would realize that!
We are always careful to tell Turbo that it's his actions we don't like. Him, we will always love.
I really hope what sticks with him is that even when we say things we might mean in the heat of the moment, we try our best to apologize when emotions aren't running so high.
I guess all moms regret the things that are said out of frustration and worry that they don't mean to say. And then you wish you could cut your tongue out as soon as the words come out.
I don't think children really understand just how awful moms feel about what is said until they are parents going through the same stuff. Hope your memories are the good ones too. I know that the boys memories will be of the unconditional love you showed them. and will know that everything that you did was because of the worry, concern and love for them.
they will remember what a wonderful mom you are and someday they will really regret the mean things they have said to you. that was definitely the case with me and my mom!
I remember telling my grandfather once that I hated him, and his response was "Good, then I'm doing something right." At the time, it seemed like such a strange reply, but now I understand what he meant.
In the end, I think we remember the biggest part of what our childhood was. To error is human, and it's okay for our children to see that, via our own actions, at times.
(Visiting from PYHO)
Oh, you touched my heart with this one. I think it's inevitable that we'll all say or do something we regret when it comes to our kids. The hope and prayer is that ALL of the good stuff outweighs it all in the end.
I can completely relate to this. You have to hope they remember the best parts of their childhood instead of the worst parts. When I think back, I can remember both, but the overwhelming knowledge that I was completely and utterly loved overrides any negative feelings I might have over anything else. I hope Lexie sees it this way, too. :o)
Ohhhhh. This is a hard stage, I think. I know my 9 year old has a lot of emotions going on right now, and though she's almost always very respectful of me, I can tell when she's hurting, and it's hard. There's some disobedience going on too, because I think she thinks she knows better than I do. Yep, very hard. I can only hope that the little things we do and say every day are the things that stick with them. I'm sure they are. You're a good Mama, Mims. No, you're a GREAT Mama! And being a Mama is tough work sometimes!
oh this makes my heart ache because I am so so so not looking forward to those years. you love them so much but emotions can so take over sometime. and those emotions can be a bitch.
i think this is something every mama can relate to.
i hope they remember the time you paddled that damn duck around the pond at Gilroy Gardens TWICE.
because seriously THAT was love!
you are a great mama!!
Gee, I hope my kid don't think I'm a nagging mom.
But, I'd eat the last two cookies and throw the box away.
awwww so sweet. i'm sure they will remember all those things
Oh gosh, how the "i hate you's" can really stick with you. And, they WILL remember all of those wonderful things!! I think about this a lot too. I can be a nagging mom and wife too. Hang in there, and don't beat yourself up too much!! We ALL have those moments.
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