I'm feeling pretty scrambled right now.
My brain can't focus on any one thing. In fact, I just remembered something I meant to do yesterday that I didn't! Dang it.
Here's what my days are looking like:
Get the kids up and dressed and to school.
Come home, drink a cup of coffee and get started working on totes for my Craft Fair.
Throw in a handkerchief dress or two.
Continue working on totes.
Fight with the sewing machine.
Throw a couple insults at it and walk away.
Cut some fabric.
Go back to the machine and greet it in my usual manner..."Bitch, imma throw you out the window!"
She thinks it's her name, ya know.
Worry.
Clean something.
Make something to eat.
Think about how fat I am.
Worry.
Catch sight of the sewing machine and cuss it.
Apologize like there's not tomorrow and tell her I love her and gently caress her casing. You have to sweet talk her, ya know.
Worry some more.
Ponder watching a show on Netflix. Nope. Not enough time.
Read my Bible. I have to repent after the cussing at the sewing machine, ya know.
Go back and expect the sewing machine to play nice since I petted her and all.
*****um.....*****
Threaten her life and stomp off with my usual, "Bitch, imma throw you out the window!"
Kids come home.
Make dinner.
Throw disgusted looks at the sewing machine.
Hey, do you think I have an unhealthy relationship with my sewing machine??
Don't answer that.
Linkin' up with the girls!
My brain can't focus on any one thing. In fact, I just remembered something I meant to do yesterday that I didn't! Dang it.
Here's what my days are looking like:
Get the kids up and dressed and to school.
Come home, drink a cup of coffee and get started working on totes for my Craft Fair.
Throw in a handkerchief dress or two.
Continue working on totes.
Fight with the sewing machine.
Throw a couple insults at it and walk away.
Cut some fabric.
Go back to the machine and greet it in my usual manner..."Bitch, imma throw you out the window!"
She thinks it's her name, ya know.
Worry.
Clean something.
Make something to eat.
Think about how fat I am.
Worry.
Catch sight of the sewing machine and cuss it.
Apologize like there's not tomorrow and tell her I love her and gently caress her casing. You have to sweet talk her, ya know.
Worry some more.
Ponder watching a show on Netflix. Nope. Not enough time.
Read my Bible. I have to repent after the cussing at the sewing machine, ya know.
Go back and expect the sewing machine to play nice since I petted her and all.
*****um.....*****
Threaten her life and stomp off with my usual, "Bitch, imma throw you out the window!"
Kids come home.
Make dinner.
Throw disgusted looks at the sewing machine.
Hey, do you think I have an unhealthy relationship with my sewing machine??
Don't answer that.
Linkin' up with the girls!
30 comments:
"Worry.
Clean something.
Make something to eat.
Think about how fat I am.
Oh man I love you!
Please move in with me!
Your booth is going to be fabulous! Your stuff is seriously the bomb-diggity.
Without the sewing part that could be any day I spend at home--throw in a three year old with potty issues and you've got my day nailed.
Ha! That poor machine.. takes so much abuse from you! ;)
LOL. At least your mornings are productive! ;o)
I blame the thread.
I had the same type of day when my sewing maching tried to eat my daughter's prom dress while I was making alterations to it.
Hey, at least your honest.
Maybe you should throw the bitch out the window. She how she likes that.
You so funny! LOL.
I talk to inanimate objects all the time. Totally normal.
Oh, and I love the new look!! I'm sure it's not "new", but it's new to me. I'm such a blog slacker these days!
Um....I think our sewing machines could be sisters separated at birth!
I swear at mine too and one day i'm going to punch it's lights out!!!
Nothing that sounds like a perfectly well functioning relationship ;)
LOL! I have the fat thought 20 times a day!
Don't throw that bitch out the window! LOL
I can't see how it's female... Is it because bitch rhymes with stitch?... I have a theory about how mine is male... But I'm looking at the machine in a much different aspect... Plus it's my daughters... so that would just be awkward.
I've loaned mine out... don't ask... I'll probably never see it again tho...
WAIT.
When did you change your header? I'm so out of it lately. I suck big balls.
Ok, yes, your relationship with that machine is dangerous and unhealthy. I think you need to step away. I don't own a sewing machine but I'm sure I would cuss it if I had one. Mainly because I'd probably bleed due to said machine. But that's just me.
I love you though. I would NEVER cuss you.
Isn't funny how you can be preoccupied with some task, like sewing and it somehow gets in your head to think about something like fat, or zits, or whatever? I can't wait to hear how the craft fair goes!
I had the same relationship with my old one.... OLD ONE!! Let sink in ... OLD ONE! My new one is a charmer!
hahahahahahahahahah!
Bwaahaahaa!! Oh dear. I do hope she starts cooperating so you don't have to throw her out the window!
P.S. I have never worked a sewing machine before and wouldn't even know how to start one up.
I yell at stuff all the time! ;)
Clearly it's time for a new one!
Hehe, your sewing machine, huh. At least it doesnt talk back!
Haha I have the same relationship with my sewing machine...I wonder if maybe mine is the long lost twin sister of yours! Great post I will deff be checking back in!
I say similar things to my sewing machine. And then she answers, "Bitch, just give up since everyone knows you don't know what you're doing."
Awwh, a love hate relationship. LOL. I hate every sewing machine simply because I can't use them. Don't know how at all. Nada! At least you have a talent for sewing.
Slowly step away from the machine!
such a torrid affair...seems pretty give and take to me, so i call it healthy. right?
My sewing machine makes me cuss too! She has been good to me recently, so I am not going to throw the gal out, but she has made me cuss and cry before, eating my fabric up and junk.
When is your big craft show again? I know mine isn't until July and I am already feeling the pressure to get things done. You are so funny, again thanks for the laughs, and I don't think you need to repent, sounds like that sewing machine had it coming LOL
I'm such a bloggy friend loser...when did you get a new look.
Why are you worrying so much? You know it's not good for you right? STOP IT!
It's good to see you back here, thanks for linking up!
I haven't used my sewing machine in years because we broke up.
We have irreconcilable differences. Like....she likes to eat thread and I like to punch her in the bobbin. We can't agree on her tension level and I just want to stomp on her foot pedal.
Bitch.
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