Welcome to my little corner of the web! Here are some useless facts about me. Feel free to point and laugh at your computer screen if you wish. It’s not like I would know. (Yes I would, and I’ll be writing down your names and keeping them locked away for future use.)
I'm a stay at home mom. I seize on just about every opportunity to get on here and blab my business because...well...I get bored, I have a huge mouth and really no shame.
I love infomercials and I cuss too much, although surprisingly, hardly ever on my blog. I dig potty humor and I can’t stand Dora, Diego, Max and Ruby, or really any children’s programming.
I have 2 boys who I love more than life but have seriously considered stabbing my eardrums with a sharp pin so I can't hear them fighting with each other, asking me to re-fill their cups or fix one more Hotwheels. I lovingly refer to these days as "Mom Fail" days. You know the ones. The ones you end up on the front lawn curled up in a fetal position, sucking your thumb and singing nursery rhymes. What...you don't have days like this?
I have OCD. No joke. It leads me to do stupid things like buy Pumpkin Spice candles every time I see one but never burn them. I have about 30 Pumpkin Spice candles right now.
I can help you organize your spice cabinet in about 30 seconds flat. Just don't ask me to make a definitive decision about anything, because that, I can not do.
I was diagnosed with MS in 2004 and have daily reminders of what my body will and won’t do anymore. I don’t talk about it on my blog much because I sound like a whiner when I do.
When I get nervous I laugh uncontrollably. I've done this at weddings and funerals. It's inappropriate and I know it; which makes it that much more difficult to live through.
I tend to have pretty bad luck. If you can only imagine a circumstance happening in a movie; chances are it's happened to me.
Prime example; before my husband and I were married my parents took us out to a nice dinner. It was only our 4th or 5th date. At some point during the meal I started laughing uncontrollably and all of the burps that I'd been swallowing so as not to let them out at the table, came out. I was so embarrassed and horrified that there was nothing else I could do: I laughed. Which magnified the burps which then turned into barf.
I barfed on the table. In front of my boyfriend. In front of the entire restaurant. At some point I caught a glimpse of myself in the window and I looked like a freakin' maniac. Crazy laughing with barf on my chin.
I really don't know what was better about that evening. The fact that my boyfriend went around stealing napkins off of peoples tables and throwing them at me or the fact that when he went out to the car while I was in the bathroom, he informed my dad that I was "busy scraping chunks off my face."
He still married me. Either I'm that cool, or he's that dumb. You decide.
The bottom line is this: there are only 2 surefire ways to make oneself feel better about their lot in life.
1. Go to Walmart and people-watch.
2. Visit my blog and see the kinds of situations I find myself in on pretty much a daily basis.
So pull up a chair and stick around. We’re gonna be great friends! Would you like me to light a Pumpkin Spice candle? Yeah? Well too bad. I only have 30.